How cold is it?

Hi everyone,

How cold is it where you live? I got in a contest in 2003 with Ryan, a 12-year-old boy in Pennsylvania, to see who could outdo the other in describing the wintry weather in our respective areas. It went on for some time and Ryan discovered that he could be pretty creative with his responses.

“Dear Ryan,” I wrote that winter,

“It’s so cold in Springfield that a robin in our yard got its tongue frozen to a worm. We had to bring them in and boil them to separate them. The grateful robin went back outside but the worm refused to leave the boiling water.
‘This is the first time I’ve been warm all winter!’ it said.”

David
* * *

“Dear David,” Ryan responded,

“It’s so cold in Pennsylvania that people’s words are freezing. We have to bring them in by the fire to hear what everyone is saying!”

Ryan

* * *

The battle was engaged!

* * *

Hey, Ryan!

It’s so warm here this winter that I saw a snowman by the roadside thumbing a ride north.
It is so warm that our furnace is in therapy because it doesn’t feel needed anymore.

David

* * *
Ha! That’s nothing!

Mid-term exams are so hard that I saw one kid’s brains run out his ears.

Ryan

* * *
Ryan,

It’s so warm that squirrels are returning nuts to the trees.

David

* * *
David,

Mid-term exams are so hard that one boy lost his mind and still hasn’t found it.

Ryan

* * *

Guess what, Ryan!

We had so much lightning here the other night that all the lightning bugs took on supercharges. Now we have to wear sunglasses at night in our back yard.
Beat that!

David
* * *
Easy!

It’s so hot here that we tried to visit family today, but had to postpone due to the fact our tires were melted to the pavement.
OHH YAA beat that!

Ryan

* * *

Ryan,

It’s so hot here today that squirrels are running around in thongs!

David

* * *
Ha!

It’s so hot here we were going to go swimming, but decided to cook pasta in the pool instead.

Ryan

* * *

Beat this.

The ground is so hot that I saw a millipede wearing sandals.
The turtles on rocks around the lake are slathering on suntan lotion.

David

* * *

No problem.

It’s even hotter here due to the fact that the air intake vents on the window air conditioners have melted shut and no longer work.

Ryan

* * *

Rats!

Just when I think I have you on the ropes, you come up with these beauties! Not fair!
It’s too hot to think. Give me time!

David

* * *
It’s wet here too,

The other night it rained so hard we had a whale in our back yard but it drowned.

Ryan

* * *

Hey Ryan!

It’s so hot here that the paint on our house just peeled down to its undercoat!
Can’t get any hotter than that!

David

* * *

Yes it can.

It’s so hot in our house that when we open the door, all the bugs fly OUT!

Ryan

* * *
Obviously we both enjoyed the game. If you think you can top our braggadocio, jump right in. How cold is it where you live? (Our young readers are invited to join us.)

****

My thanks to Bruce Black who included me this past year in his series of interviews. Yesterday I received this note from him telling me that he has posted excerpts from his guests, including something from my interview. If you would like to be reminded of all of Bruce’s guests and what they had to say, here’s how to get there.

David
I just put together a collection of quotes from folks who were kind enough to share thoughts about writing with wordswimmer over the past year and thought you might like to see the post:
http://wordswimmer.blogspot.com/2010/12/beacons-of-light-2010.html
Thanks so much for being a beacon of light to other writers.
Hope you’re well, and that 2011 brings many more wonderful stories from your pen!
Best
Bruce—–
wordswimmer
(http://wordswimmer.blogspot.com /)