Welcome back, Pat Lewis

Hi everyone,

On August 24 it was my pleasure to feature J. Patrick Lewis, our reigning U. S. Children’s Poet Laureate, who treated us to a poetic challenge that he dubbed PARROTY. What pursued was a frenzy of witty poems posted by witty poets. If you haven’t revisited that occasion lately, be sure you do. It would be a shame to let so much fun and talent get swept under the list of posts since then!

Pat mentioned that he might have another challenge when I felt the time was right. I think the time is right. So here is the latest from Pat:

Hi David,
Here’s another one: One word does not a poem make, or a new verse form. But it does qualify as wordplay. The title is self-explanatory. I included three one-worders (not any of those below) in my new IF YOU WERE A CHOCOLATE MUSTACHE, just now coming out from Wordsong/BMP.


Bungee jumper Boyo-yo
Antarctic survivor Pengwin
Joey’s house Kangaroom
Number One doctor Peediatrician
Pasta-filled cookie Macarooni
Green poodle Broccollie
Doggie park Terriertory
Robin’s snack  Earthwo-
Speedread Gobble-de-book
Arithmetic whiz Mathlete
One-fifth of a house Two-tents
World’s largest telescope Vastronomer
What a guillotine does  Disconnecks
Number one eye doctor  Toptometrist
Mule train (or, Donkey cart) Wheelburro
Rodent whiskers Mousetache
Fenced flower bed Guarden
Full cemetery Overcrowdead
Heat wave Fahrenheight
Ruined shaped  Wreckedangle
Look, a fly—no, it’s  Souperman!
The Wordplay’s the Thing Shakespirit

So there we have it. And for all those poets who routinely solve my Word of the Month one-word challenge, this should be great fun indeed. I’ve given it a shot with some of my own.

Dodging creditors: Billgame
Boring crocodile: Crocodull
Humorless settlers: Pilgrumps
Cane manufacturer in Chicago: Chicanery
Fruit injected with growth hormones: Plumps&Amples
Wilted flower garden: Lackadaisycal
Pigs in a pond: Waterfoul
Mothers who rob banks: Momsters
Insect pests at a Paris picnic: Frenchflies
Determined dolphin: Porpoiseful
Crazy astronaut on the moon: Lunartic


106 comments on “Welcome back, Pat Lewis

  1. These are strangely addictive. I can see one could take each individual line and make it the ending to a poem. I especially like my last entry in this “poem” because it is a double pun!


    J. Pat’s challenge

    On one’s last leg: End Gam
    Medicine for a worm: Caterpill
    Misspoken Camel: Palindromadary
    Lazy ocean killer: Great White Shirk
    Coal-fired reading device: Lumplight
    Storage for bears: Cubboard
    Melville navel novel: Billybuddon

  2. See-can’t stop.


    Musical Perversions

    Surround sound: Wrap Music
    Insurrection in a high key: Contra-tenor
    Drummer missed a beat: Tinpo
    Brassy, horny player: Sexyphone
    Underwater singer: Tunerfish
    Conductor fishing for a beginning: Downbait
    Fiddling with the downbait: Violine
    Lost the bait: Haddick

  3. Good morning David,

    I am not sure that this is what you are aiming for …

    poe-suite: a hotel room reserved for poets
    critterature: literature in which animals are the main characters
    bitterature: writings of embittered authors
    jailagator: an alligator that lives behind bars
    clutterature/litterature: substandard writings flooding/littering the market


  4. Musical shark: hummerhead
    Flounder bounder: conflounder
    Dead stingray: stangray
    Mythical monster of the pond: Mobyduck
    Distant cousin of the dog:caneight

  5. Hi, Everybody–this great fun but is giving me a headache!

    Boastful gravestone: Ravestone
    Person who loves potato chips: Potato hips
    One who will do anything for pizza: Pizza Slut
    Egotistical ophthalmologist: I-doctor
    Telephone co. repairman: High-wire artist
    Vegan jellybean: Jellygreen
    Delinquent cruise ship captain: Naptain

    • OK, I’ll bite! Here are a few more:

      Sat on a fish fillet: Halibutt
      Punctual tattletale: Snitch-in-time
      Fishing-lure jewelry: Rednecklace
      Petulant author: Snipewriter
      King of all word books: Tyranthesaurus Rex
      (one that’s a tad obscure…)
      Joyce Kilmer’s shade: Poetree

  6. Zoo Who? Or: They are REALLY out of Africa

    Dead pachyderm: Elephisn’t.
    Aussie king; Kangarule.
    Iron Rhno: Rhinocerust.
    Hurt Dinner Service: Platterpus.
    Cross Bred Cows: Cattlepiller
    Ocean going Long Necks: Girafts
    Incursive Deer Herds: Anterlopers
    Flower’s Last Blast: Skank.
    Battler at the Birdfeeder: Squarrel


  7. profound monk: deep-friar
    middle-aged dog’s problem: menopaws
    tearful weaving: basketbawl
    eloped wildebeests: gnulyweds
    diabolical feline: satanicat
    know-it-all journalists: knewsies
    citrus assistant: lemonaide
    go shopping for contact lenses: eyebrowse
    favorite dance at the asylum: berzurka
    silly entrails: flibbertigiblets

  8. Birds of a Feather

    pessimistic bird: toucan’t
    folk-singing flutterer: strummingbird
    bird in charge: bosstrich
    birds on vacation: skiwis
    procrastinating bird: wouldpecker
    toast carrier: melbatross
    funky bird: flamingo-go
    aggressive bird: spartridge
    ornithological orthographer: spellican
    hardworking bird: choriole
    punctual bird: peaclock
    dour foul: tacitern
    Vegas flyers: birds-of-pair-a-dice

    • Good heavens, Renee, did you stay up all night doing these? I love them all, What a delightful collection! Thanks for adding your humor to this funfest.

  9. finalists in green apple eating contest: runoff
    dumb knitter: knitwit
    moron who blames others: blamebrain
    story about a young horse: ponytale
    suspicious e-mail: phishy
    shipload of fish eggs: roeboat
    breath fresheners for accountants: documints
    dead butterfly: butterflew
    dogs in the park: poo-dles
    cat giving a compliment: amewsing

  10. Thanks David and Jane. I will be smiling ALL day.
    I take my leave for I must attend to sqWHIRL who is in the process of deCAPtivating my sunflowers… and ‘snap’ him in the act.


  11. How about these, which seem to all be animal afflictions:

    A persistently plagued peeved pachyderm: Hiccupotamus
    A completely closed cat critter: Ocelocked
    A boisterously booming bellyaching beluga: Whail
    A mild-mannered, milquetoast mammoth: Elefaint

  12. Hi Samuel, and welcome. Thank you for your witty contributions to the festivities. I hope you’ll mark this spot and come back.

  13. Love this, and all of the examples above!

    Baghdad spider: Iraqnid
    Intrigue among actors: thespionage
    Unimportant monster: nonstrosity
    Old thing that makes you uneasy: frantiquity
    Smartest fish in school: fintelligentsia
    Sugar daddy: Cashanova
    Latin names: Romanclature
    Sleepless spouse: snormented

    Steven Withrow

  14. Famous Bookies: Pats Your Money, Gets No Choice

    Drinking Ale in Camelot: Arthurholic
    Moby Dick in Central Park Snow: The White Swale
    “The Raven” : Poe-atree
    Feline Pilgrims: The Caterbury Tales

  15. City reptile: Alleygator
    Bear that won’t shave: Grizzledy
    Sassy handwear: Foxyglove

    That’s all I’ve got for now. Will keep thinking!

  16. More Things with Feathers

    B.B. King with wings: Blues-jay
    Proof of nest ownership: Chickadeed
    Robert from the golf course: Bob O’ Links
    Why Ernie lost his best pal: Mocking Bert
    The problem with Rooosevelt: Spare-O
    Butternut Tree’s humble origin: Nut-hatch

      • Dear Renee,
        In the spirit of talk like a pirate day, I want to confess that I pirated the buckanear idea from son Jeff, who was recently fussing about the price of corn and popped out with this little gem. Aargh! I’m guilty. Just don’t make me dance the hempen jig!

  17. I’m back! In honour of National Talk Like a Pirate Day:

    Where pirates play catch: The backyaaard!
    A pirate’s favourite actress: Scaaarlet Johansson!
    Where pirates get their fried dough: The Caaarnival!
    How does a modern pirate keep track of enemies? Radaaar!
    Who are pirates voting for this year? Baaarack Obama!
    A pirate’s favourite animal: Aaardvaaark!
    Where did the pirate leave his bride-to-be: At the altaaar!

    (I can hear all the groans from here…)

  18. Tiger’s ex’s favorite tool: dingbat
    Practical waterfowl: logigull
    Opposite of pelican: pelican’t
    Snake that swims up on victims: watersneak
    What pirates spent their doubloons on: doublondes

  19. Pingback: Poetry Friday: A Bowl of Poetry Candy

  20. I don’t think these are too partisan, so how about a few political PARROTYs …

    Invasion of policy: Pryan’
    State of confusion: Alobama
    One tiny step away from being dangerous: Bident

  21. Warm and whole, heels and toes: Sockratic Oath
    A quack’s pledge: Hipocritic Oath
    A long distance relationship: Plutonic (and mostly likely, platonic)

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