It doesn’t happen often, but it did yesterday. I knew when I went to bed the night before that I had no deadlines looming and nothing that screamed priority to attend to.
When I woke up at 6:00, I didn’t get up right away as I usually do. It took me fifteen minutes to leave those warm covers and get my feet on the floor. I came in here a few minutes later, sat down and sipped my coffee, and nothing happened.
It was dark out. Sandy was still in bed though probably awake. My getting up usually rouses her and she has trouble getting back to sleep.
I sat here, trying to sort out the various possibilities, decided on a couple and, instead of getting to work, fiddled with e-mail, browsed the Net, and let my coffee get cold.
Some mornings it’s hard to be the sole proprietor of a small business. I’ve been someone’s boss since my first promotion when I was 23. But being my own boss is the toughest challenge I’ve ever had.
I like to tell people that after all these years I can hardly wait to get started each morning. And that’s mostly the truth. It just wasn’t the truth yesterday morning. What was true, as it always is, is that if I had rolled back over in bed, not one soul would have known or cared other than I. If I had not written one word all day, no one would have cared about that either.
Jane Yolen, I loved your rant about finding time to make writing happen. These days I have it made and know it. I worked a lifetime to reach a point where I can write (almost) as much as I want. I no longer have to make the time to write. I now have an abundance of it.
But the second part of the equation is motivation. Or drive. Or dedication. Or passion. Call it what you will. It’s that essential ingredient that fires the need to put pen to paper and leave it there until something happens.
I never left my office yesterday. I didn’t sneak out early. I gave my boss no excuses. But I was not a driven employee. I got some things done but gave myself a C for the day. Too many grades like that and any small business will eventually dry up.
I don’t plan to let that happen. Today I will do better!