I practically sold another book!

Hi everyone,
David on rock 1
I had a brilliant idea today for a new collection. Hooray! Now all I need to do is fill in the details, such as researching and writing all the poems and finding an editor who loves the result. Who knows why these people are so picky? Why can’t they just send me money? If you find an easier way, let me know. I’ll spread the word.



8 comments on “I practically sold another book!

  1. Picky, Picky, Picky

    So I had the idea,
    the hardest part,
    the place where writers
    always start.
    Send me the money.

    So I wrote a line,
    perhaps wrote two.
    Now it’s your turn
    to follow through.
    Send me the money.

    You want a full verse?
    Here’s three or four.
    You’re kidding?
    You say give you more?
    Send me the money.

    I’ve got three lines
    about the rest.
    You want it all?
    Is this a test?
    Send me the money.

    Ok, I’ve done
    the whole damned book,
    So here it is,
    Take a quick look
    And send me the money!

    It’s been a year,
    And you decline?
    And I am not
    allowed to whine?
    At least send me the stupid mss. back!

    ©2016 Jane Yolen all rights reserved

    • Ha ha ha! Jane, I think you’ve written the writer’s anthem. All you editors out there, I hope you’re paying attention. Just send us the money!

  2. So where’s the trust?
    Why do you fight it?
    Sooner or later
    You know I’ll write it.
    Send me the money.

    So where’s the love?
    I said I’d do it.
    Any day now
    I’ll get to it.
    Send me the money.

    I’m so excited!
    You’ll be too!
    So why do I have
    To prove it to you?
    Send me the money.

    You won’t believe
    How good this is,
    So why do you have
    To pry and quiz?
    Send me the money!

    Okay, okay,
    Here’s what I’ll do,
    I’ll tease you with
    A little clue.
    Send me the money?

    What do you mean,
    You see no hook?
    I’m not even going
    To write this book!
    Just keep your money!


    • Send Me the Money 3

      So now it’s done,
      I hope you’re glad
      and recognize
      the woes I had.
      Send me the money!

      The script, I vow
      is in the mail,
      So contract now
      and without fail.
      Send me the money.

      Skip comittees,
      Or else I’ll post your
      soul to hell.
      Send me the money.

      Of course revisions
      all inclusive,
      long as comments
      aren’t intrusive.
      Send me the money.

      Fame and fortune
      sure to follow.
      No bitter Kirkus
      pan to swallow.
      Send me the money. NOW!

  3. My work’s so good
    You must be glowing.
    I need some cash
    To keep me going.
    Send me the money.

    Enough of writing,
    Let’s talk theories,
    It’s not too soon
    To think of series.
    Send me the money.

    At least two books,
    Maybe three,
    It’s only fair,
    It seems to me,
    So send me the money.

    My brain’s on fire,
    I can’t sit still
    Or squeeze another
    Word until you
    Send me the money.

    I used to think
    That we were friends,
    So send enough
    To make amends.
    Send me the money!


      Send Me the Money last chance

      I did the work,
      Revisions, too,
      I thought the book
      was finally through.
      But you never sent me the money.

      You called it swell,
      Groundbreaking, too,
      Then returned it.
      “It won’t do!”
      You never sent me the money,

      An editor
      Higher than you
      Had bought a book
      Too Similar to. . .
      You never sent me the money.

      I’ve sent it on
      to someone better,
      Just waiting for
      Their acceptance letter.
      And all that hard-earned money.

      • My friend, I believe that we have demonstrated why any thinking editor should simply send us the money! Thanks for a grand time. XO!

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