A poem fighting back

Hi everyone,

Today marks the fifth work day on the same poem. I haven’t spent all day each day on it but it’s the only poem I’ve worked on since last Tuesday. Poems usually flow fairly smoothly for me. It isn’t uncommon for me to finish one in a day. I’ve had days when two fell into place. But this one is fighting back. I set myself a difficult but doable rhyme scheme, abba, when, in retrospect, free verse would probably have been a better choice. At this point I’m too stubborn to let it have its way and it’s not about to give in and make it easy for me. It’s rare for a poem to develop a personality in my mind, but this one keeps hiding and peeking out at me through tall weeds. My hope is to finish today. I MUST get on with the rest of my life!

7 comments on “A poem fighting back

  1. You know poems usually have the upper-hand – they want to be written the way THEY want. I once went through a half-dozen forms and iterations with one poem (and several months) until I discovered an archaic Roman form that actually worked perfectly – and the poem fell into place in one day. Good luck!

    • Good morning, Matt, and I certainly agree. Some poems come so easily, but lest we forget, others do not! Sometimes it’s mostly about luck.

  2. Hi David,

    Very hot here and been busy trying to pull out weeds etc!
    I’m wondering about something….you can’t laugh!
    How would you go about telling a close friend that all three garden chairs have broken when they ask where they have all gone?! They were really nice wooden chairs too. My neighbour comes in regularly but she is heavily obese. Even the lounger has collapsed virtually. I haven’t the heart to tell her of course but what would you do if you then have to replace them all and it happens again? 😳😬😱🥴.

    Strange question to be asking you but thought I’d ask anyway 😂.
    Glad the writing is going well and you managed to climb out of despair with the poems you have now successfully submitted. I give the thumbs up and I haven’t even seen them 😂😁.

    Jane x
    Sent from my iPhone

    • Oh dear, Jane, that’s a true dilemma. But if your friend asks, I should think you can answer gently but truthfully. I don’t suppose reading her this poem would help, but you’re welcome to go for humor if it helps. This poem was published in the 90s in a book called THE BOY WHO COUNTED STARS.
      The Perfect Diet

      Mrs. LaPlump weighed 300 pounds.
      Her husband weighed 202.
      “I’ve got to lose some weight,” she said,
      I’ll give up potatoes and pizza and bread.”
      Mr. LaPlump said, “I will, too.’
      My darling, I’ll do it for you.”

      When each of them lost 100 pounds,
      And he only weighed 102.
      “I’ve got to lose more weight,” she said.
      “This next 100,” said he, “I dread
      For when we are finished I’ll only weight 2,
      But darling, I’ll do it for you.”

      They lost another 100 pounds,
      Her figure was perfect and trim,
      But there is a lesson here I think,
      Mr. LaPlump continued to shrink
      And one day disappeared down the sink,
      And you may find this grim, my dears,
      But it was the end for him.

      (c) David L. Harrison, all rights reserved

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