So you think you’re a bad writer?

Hi everyone,

I’ve mentioned the annual Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest before, and many of you know about it anyway, but son Jeff just sent me a recent post featuring the best of the past ten years and I’ve had several loud laughs. Here’s where to find the 2017 winners in case you’d like a few chuckles and/or groans of your own:

Here are a couple of examples:
6. Jordan Kaderli

Betty had eyes that said come here, lips that said kiss me, arms and torso that said hold me all night long, but the rest of her body said, “Fillet me, cover me in cornmeal, and fry me in peanut oil”; romance wasn’t easy for a mermaid.

7. Rephah Berg

On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like when the toilet-paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained.

I’ve been tempted to enter this annual contest for decades but never seem to get around to it. Maybe we should all enter it this year. They even have a children’s division. Maybe, just maybe, one of us will be good enough to be that bad.