ANNOUNCEMENT:
I’d like to see this go on even though I’m going to switch to something else tomorrow. The nice thing about a blog post is that it never goes away. If you want to keep adding comments and careerhymes, I hope you will.
BUT tomorrow will be another of your favorite treats. The wonderful artist, Rob Shepperson, will be back with another humorous drawing so we can play a new round of CAPTION THAT CARTOON! You don’t want to miss it.
Hi everyone,
As promised, here’s the latest from our U.S. Children’s Poet Laureate, J. Patrick Lewis. This time he challenges us to write Careerhymes, an original light verse form in which the name of an occupation appears somewhere in the first line. As always, Pat models examples of the form. Also as always, I give in to the temptation to try my hand. First, of course, is Pat.
Psychiatrist: A member of
A race obsessed with mother love,
Another name for father hate
For which we overcompensate.
In short, he makes each one of us
Feel Oedipusillanimous.
Proctologist: A human being
Preoccupied with human peeing—
Oh, no, I am mistaken, sir,
That’s not a Proct-, it must be Ur-.
Computer Geek: A square; a nerd;
A rather antisocial bird,
Who keeps a mouse; a devotee
Of virtual reality.
[The three above appeared in Light Quarterly, Summer 1999.]
Undertaker: Working stiff,
Who’s ready with a handkerchief,
But for a casketful of cash
Gladly reduces you to ash.
Philosopher: A mind at ease
With drear eventualities
Like Existential Angst and Dread
And, “Is that stoplight really red?”
Cartographer: A person who,
Though he prefers an ocean view,
When stress becomes a leitmotif,
Draws rocky mountains in relief.
Psychic: One who always sees
Financial opportunities.
ESP—whatever you call it—
She knows just what’s inside your wallet.
Telemarketer: A chap
Who interrupts your daily nap
To say, “If you’re deceased or moved,
We’ve got you down as pre-approved.”
[The five above appeared in Light Quarterly, Summer 2000.]
Accountant: Is a he or she
Devoid of personality.
Economist: Is one who knows
That glasses are one color—rose.
Together this two-person band
Is like the bland leading the bland.
* * * * *
And now for a few of mine.
A barber is a fellow who
Makes his living trimming you.
Though he may be a nosy quizzer,
Don’t forget who holds the scissor.
A plumber is a modern hero
Who, when toilet flush hits zero,
Plunges in to joust the foe,
With wise crack, returns the flow.
An orthodontist uses braces
To help him create happy faces.
True, his methods take a while,
But thousands later he’ll make you smile.
No one’s met an entomologist.
I suspect a mad mythologist,
High on anti-mosquito drugs,
Made up a guy who worships bugs.
Okay, let’s hear from you, careerhyme-wise!
David
Thanks for the challenge, Pat and David. I came up with two late-night careerhymes and one other attempt that I’ll finish another day 🙂
Illusionist: makes you believe
There must be something up her sleeve.
Though really, as her name implies,
She knows the ways to fool your eyes.
Procrastinator: one who….
Dentist: cleaner of the gums;
Remover of stuck seeds and crumbs.
Years of school are on this track…
Yet no diploma! Just some plaque.
Greg
Well hello, Greg! I’m so glad you stopped by and brought your good stuff with you. Although I like the Illusionist and Dentist, I have a special place in my heart for the, uh, the one who . . .
David
Thanks, Greg! LOL!
Yay, more fun to keep me from meeting my deadlines! Pat and David, you are wry and sly guys, to be sure. So clever!
Here’s my first. Perhaps not as clever in the wordplay, but there you go:
A teacher nurtures her little trainees
with passion, love, and expertise
before standards, tests, the board of trustees
swoop in to cripple her by degrees.
Oops, I made a mistake! It should be:
A teacher nurtures her little trainees
with passion, love, and expertise
before standardized tests and the board of trustees
swoop in to cripple her by degrees.
Hey, Italy, this will be a hit with our teacher pals. Thanks for getting us off and running.
David
good one, Renee!
Super!
She holds the future
in her hands
but no one really
understands.
Well, some of us do. Keep up the good work, Renee.
Nicely done!
Argh, like eating popcorn.Must. . .stop. . .
Folk singer–one who warbles much
With marbles in the mouth like mush.
He just-folks with the upper class
For contracts and some ready cash.
Librarian is one who seeks
Out books for readers and for geeks.
She eats books that are deep and chewy
And worships the great Pan named Dewey.
Professors read on matters deep,
Report on them in language steep,
And this—I fear that I must stress,
Oft do not love what they profess.
(I was going to rhyme theses with feces
but find myself somehow unmoved.)
A rock musician wild and hairy
Looks quite mean and often scary.
But seen undressed—he bodes no harm,
For MOM is tattooed on his arm.
©2013 Jane Yolen
Morning, Jane. I’m happy you came over to play. Thanks for these fun examples of careerhymes. I have a feeling that these things are addictive.
David
These are great, Jane! I like your last 2 best. 🙂
What great fun! Love your popcorn : )
I see Jane Yolen gave you one on librarians, but as one myself, I know that we are more than books, so here’s my go:
A librarian is one who finds
Answers to questions of all kinds.
Computer and tomes stand at the ready,
For inquiries from large to petty.
Greetings, Librarian Jane. And a fine go it is. Thanks!
David
Terrific contribution, Jane!
Perfect : )
Don’t get me wrong, Other Jane, I adore librarians. But these were meant to be amusing, I thought!
JaneY
Oh, absolutely, Jane Y! I’m honored to be on the same page with you!!
Ha! These are addicting!
A ranger roams from here to there
to find an over-friendly bear
and offer him a tranquil truce
if he agrees to be recluse.
A photographer pulls out her bag of tricks
to elicit sweet smiles before she clicks.
Then later erases all non-beauty traces
that may have invaded her photographed faces.
The referee is quite uptight
in his shirt of black and white.
He’s trying hard to stop the cheater
with his old-school style of tweeter.
Way to go, Penny! They are habit forming for sure. Pat has done it to us again!
David
These are great–I want that photographer!
short ‘n sweet…
writer: one of those
strange birds
who likes to
hunt and peck
for words.
Write to the point, Julie. I love it.
David
Bravo, Julie. Short ‘n sweet is lovely!
Karen
perfect, Julie!
So clever
Thanks, Everyone! Off to read your lovelies now… Julie
An artist looks
around and sees
what’s in the forest
besides the trees.
Aha! The artistic look for sure. Thanks!
David
Indeed–and shows us! Thanks, bluerabbit
Grins. Thanks : )
The artist looks
around and sees
the shape of the space
among forest trees
(The writer can’t
leave his words alone
he has to come back
to tinker and hone.)
Like the rhyme, rhythm and sense, blue rabbit! And so true… Julie
Thanks, Julie!
I changed it : )
An artist looks around
and sees
the shape of the space
among forest trees.
“Oedipusillanimous:” my new favourite word! I love so many of these. I had a few minutes, so I tried to come up with some unusual choices:
Wal-Mart greeter: welcomes you
In their standard smock of blue;
Frail and with a scent of liquor,
Asks if your kid wants a sticker.
Congressman: a person who
Will always know what’s best for you;
And after weeks of arguing
Still won’t accomplish anything.
A lion tamer needs your prayers,
Protects himself with whips and chairs;
But if his partner isn’t fed
He could really lose his head.
A pet food tester’s job’s not easy;
Tends to make your tummy queasy,
Tuna, beef, and shrimp and chicken –
And never, ever finger-lickin.’
A model, so bizarrely thin,
Is like a living mannequin;
From USA to Luxembourg, her
Shape looks like she needs a burger.
(I know, I know – I was reaching for that last rhyme!)
Good stuff, Matt,
I especially like the Wal-Mart greeter.
David
Love all of them. The lion tamer is especially fun.
Nicely done, Matt! I especially enjoyed the first. Hopped over to your bio and blog. Congratulations on all of the good things you’ve got going on!
Thanks, Eric! I appreciate it. I do keep busy. 🙂
Pingback: Write a Careerhyme | Warm Up Poems
Hi Matt–how about ending the mannequin this way:
In small bikinis, waves and suns
She needs some burger for those buns.
xxxJane
HA!
I like it!
That’s great!
OK, last one – for now! (You’re right, Jane…like popcorn, indeed!)
A poet has just one desire;
Imagination feeds it.
He sets his sullen soul afire
And almost no one reads it.
Thanks, Matt. I’m glad someone remembered the poet!
David
Oh, Matt, so true : )
I have liked all your additions here, but this one is my fave.
these are all fab-u-lous! A good morning laugh to be sure!
I thought of a poet one, also, as I was out on errands this morning…plus an golfer.
A poetosaurus
Loves her thesaurus
and spends hours alone
with Mr. Rhymezone.
A golfer tees up
and dreams of the cup,
while praying his stroke
won’t be the club joke.
Ha! Penny, they can get us for driving and drinking, driving and texting and, in some states, driving and talking on a hand-held phone. But they can’t keep us from driving and making up poems!
David
That’s right…and let’s not tell them cause I don’t want any new laws regarding rhyming and the like!
Pingback: [Poetry Play] A Careerhyme Challenge | laurasalas
Fun! Here’s mine. Thanks for my daily poem idea:>)
Why You Can Never Reach a Teacher
If you need to chat with teacher,
Do not call; you’ll never reach her.
She’s sparking thoughts, engaging kids.
Ignoring parents who’ve flipped their lids.
Email/voicemail never finds
the teacher busy shaping minds.
–Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved
P.S. There are so many wonderful male teachers, too, but “reach him” doesn’t rhyme with “teacher.” Sorry:>)
Hi Laura! Many thanks for coming by and sharing your careerhyme with us. And congratulations on being a finalist for the Cybils Poetry Award for BookSpeak! Poems about Books!
David
LOVE this Laura! My favorite teacher one.
They are fabulous! Really made me chuckle.
Vetinarian – the cat’s got fleas
and the vet’s got substantial fees
Ear ache, hair and toe nails clipped
bank account severely whipped.
Hi Catherine,
Thanks for joining the fun. These things are habit forming!
David
These are great! Here is mine…
Dog Walker: Prepared with bags,
receives wet kisses, joyful wags,
snaps each leash, stills each bark,
knows everybody at the park.
Greetings, Amy!
I’m glad you got that dog walker in the mix. You paint a picture that everyone can recognize.
David
How cute is that, Amy : ). Licks!
It could be a book collection! Thanks for the inspiration and the laughs. Here’s one from a recent experience:
Hairdresser: snips and shapes, cuts and whacks.
She likes the looks of front and back.
She combs and sprays and oohs and ahs,
Then turns me to the mirror-PAUSE!
Ha! Linda, this is another one that will be familiar to a lot of women. My M.O.W. just got her hair done yesterday so I’m sure her guy held that mirror for the all important pause.
Gasp!
what fun!!
This one’s for my sister:
A Navy man sails seven seas
to save us from a coup
But don’t forget this job is done
by Navy women, too.
…forgot to check the box to be notified of follow up comments ; – )
Absolutely! Thanks for joining us, Karol. It’s nice having you.
David
This looks like fun. Thanks to @BookChook for pointing it out. 🙂
Here are two from me;
Grazier; a cow cocky –
not a blocky
always on the go
watching grass grow.
Patient: one who waits
as sickness abates.
Hi Kat!
Thanks for coming over to play. It’s nice to have you here.
All the best,
David
The cleaning lady comes at one.
An hour later, she is done.
Has she been busy? What the heck!
I’m sure, cause she’s picked up. . .
the check!
©2013 Jane Yolen all rights reserved
Good morning, Jane. Thanks for adding another universal truth to this anthology of professions. Hope things are good with you.
David
These are fantastic! Great job everyone! Here is mine reflecting my biggest fear concerning my furniture-maker husband:
Form and function’s a woodworker’s goal
In building a table, a chair, a bowl.
He saws and turns or makes things square
Then checks if his fingers all are there.
(He has all his digits, but just a few screws loose :-))
Welcome, Iza! I have a woodworking friend whose wife would no doubt agree with your rendering. Thanks!
David
Archaeologist: digs for facts
Below ancient foundational cracks.
Otherwise how would we know
Someone lived there long ago?
Paleontologist: digs for bones,
Tells us what they used to be,
Who knows if he’s right or wrong,
Paleontologically?
The P.A. works from morn till night
To set her boss’s life aright.
But her own life is flux and fray.
She needs to hire her own P.A.
Pain and decay, the dentist’s job.
He probes and polishes your gob,
He picks and pokes, he knows the drill,
And afterwards–and extra thrill. . .
He does the fill.
And sends the bill.
Zoo keepers are a special bunch,
They sit with lions for their lunch,
And hope they aren’t the added munch.
© Jane Yolen all rights reserved
Right on, Jane! Suppose Pat is paying any attention to what he started or just sitting back with a smirk?
Love these : ) That zoo keeper has real possibilities. Is he/she (?) a character?
“…although they do have quite a crunch.” 😉
I see 65 responses so far. We must be doing something right, David.
There you are, Pat. Yes, something right for sure. You forgot to tell us how to stop writing these things!
Santa Claus: a jolly elf,
Though basically quite lazy,
He only works one night a year,
His job description’s hazy,
I think he squeezes down the chimney,
Which, to me, sounds crazy.
Superman is strong enough
To break a stone apart,
But dons glasses to hide himself,
So you know he’s not too smart.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Slipped and took an awful fall,
It must have sounded like a bomblet,
I bet he made a Grade-A omelet.
I think that Pat should propose this to National Geographic or Boyds Mills or Creative editions or Charlesbeidge, starting with his own best poems and culling these for those appropriate for child readers. It would make a great anthology! Especially for the Common Core.
If it didn’t set a record for the fastest book every written, it would certainly be a contender. And you’re right about the Common Core. Teachers would have a wonderful time extending the exercise into their classrooms over a spread of several grades.
Geologists are curious creatures,
investigating volcanic features.
They study tectonic plates with devotion
And marvel at volcanic explosion.
Greetings, Ann, and welcome to the party. Those geologists are such fun!
David
Okay, here is one from me.
We writers seek to write those wrongs
We cannot fix through tales and songs.
Who hears of wrongs well-writ just might,
Book tossed aside, make such wrongs right.
And maybe another, less sententious?–
If crossing cop at school cries “Stop!”
All students need to heed, and freeze.
But Doctor Grammar says the prop-
-er way to boss a crosser’s: “Please.”
Hi, Gregory,
I’m a fan and delighted to have you join us today. It’s always good to hear from Doctor Grammar in such matters.
David
Wow! These are all amazing! Thank you everyone for the grins and guffaws. Here’s my attempt…
There once was a petite Baker
Who was a prolific cupcake maker.
She tasted each and every treat,
Until she could no longer see her feet.
Well uh-oh! Thanks, Bridget, for reminding us of the really good things in life!
David
Ok…we can’t have Santa without…
Rudolph: Went from chump to champ
all around the North Pole camp.
Currently he leads a crew
of very famous caribou.
:Penny, this grand tale (tail?) of success brings a tear of joy.
David
This is So ho ho clever!
So many fun rhymes here. Alas, I have indeed met many entomologists (my husband studied the forked fungus beetle aka Bolitotherus cornutus when he was in graduate school) so I’ve given that group an alternate careerrhyme:
Entomologists study insects all night and day,
from bombadier beetles with boiling spray,
to silent mantids that stalk their prey:
any critter on six-legs who scurries their way.
Hi Buffy,
Please tell your hubby that I used the confused flower beetle, Tribolium confusum, during my master’s lab work in parasitology. Until the last minute I was headed to grad school to become an entomologist. But the parasites offered a better fellowship. Sold out for a cestode. Sigh.
That’s great! Personally, I think you two are slightly buggy (winks)
I don’t write poetry, but I couldn’t resist taking part in this. So here’s mine:
A piano teacher stifles a curse
At another Fur Elise pounded rhythmless
Stiffened wrists and sunken knuckles,
Oh the joys and the chuckles.
Hello, Yat-Yee, and welcome to the group! As an old trombone teacher, I feel your pain. Joys and chuckles for sure.
David
Entomologists don’t study ents.
They study insect ladies and gents.
They study them often in places muggy.
I’d say it drives them really buggy.
A Cosmetician sees the stars.
She makes them up with goo from jars.
She plucks and pulls things into place
Then makes an art of every face.
©2013 Jane Yolen all rights reserved
I must say, Jane, that our entomologist friends should feel special. They seem to be the chosen profession. Thanks for all the fun today. You’ve added greatly to the pleasure.
David
Love your buggy one : ), though as an ex-Angeleno, I can just see that cosmetician.
What fun! Here’s mine:
Birdwatcher: Knows each owl by hoot,
can tell a rail from duck and coot.
Binoculars improve the view
of warbler, finch, and cockatoo.
Dog-eared field guide holds the key
to tanager and wood peewee.
Hi JoAnn,
It’s lovely to have you here. Thanks very much for joining the fun by contributing such a great careerhyme for the birders out there.
David
Loving these. Hope couplets are okay!
A children’s writer, sweet but tough,
deftly blends fine art with fluff.
A novelist must bear the curse
of never telling tales in verse.
A journalist loves to report
good stories of a different sort,
while poets live a life sublime
if they can find two words that rhyme!
Wonderful, Nancy!
Nancy, couplets are fine and dandy, especially when they cover four branches of the scribblers’ tree in eight lines!
David
Terrific, Nancy…and so true!
Child: full of hopes and fears.
Learns through laughter, learns through tears.
No harder job was ever made
And here’s the joke: you don’t get paid!
Nice! This could go for the parent, as well.
Thanks, Greg. I agree with Matt, this works at both ends of the equation. Enjoyed it.
David
Thoroughly enjoying reading these posts! Not sure if we were expected to match Pat’s meter and four-line stanza format, but here’s my contribution just the same:
The work of the prosperous local beautician
is seven parts skill to twelve parts intuition.
When faced with a movie star magazine clipping,
she smiles in agreement and soon begins snipping.
She cuts, and she combs, and she curls, but she never
admits that she knows it’s a futile endeavor.
Love it, Eric!
Aha! Eric, you make a good observation. Many a beautician must secretly roll her/his eyes when handed one of those photos.
David
An electrician runs wires through walls and floors,
In ships and airplanes, through grocery stores,
He knows about surges and circuits and power
And grounds and charges: 80 an hour.
Hi again, Buffy, and thanks for the well grounded electrician.
David
These are fantastic–what fun!
Good morning, Laura,
We’ve had a lot of exceptional contributions, don’t you think? Pat has outdone himself once again!
David
So enjoyed reading these!
Seems everyone I know has a shrink.
They tell me he probes and makes them think
of memories dank and dysfunctional doom
of days in their lives since escaping the womb.
So funny!
Joanna–here’s an antiphonal response to your poem:
So everyone here seems to have her own Shrink
who pushes and probes and who helps them to think.
As for me, well I think I detect a deep gap
Between what’s the shrinkage and what is the wrap.
Enjoy,
Jane
🙂 Love it, Jane!
Love it!
…and here’s my response to both of those!
These days, everyone seems to have their own shrink,
A person who helps get their life back in sync;
After hearing their troubles and trials, I think
If I was that person, I’d need a stiff drink.
Matt
Joanna, Jane, and Matt,
After that good going over, the shrinks can go sit with the entomologists and share their woes. Thanks!
David
🙂
Sorry I’m late! Just heard about this from the lady with world’s best surname, Ms Renee LaTulippe. Okay, here’s what I got so far, with the caveat that I normally only write for children under age 10..
A doctor prods, a doctor pokes
And tells you poorly crafted jokes
Distracting from injection pain
Producing language most profane.
A clown will feel like such a plonker
Should you squeeze upon his honker
Revenge will come, revenge so sweet
He’ll happy slap you with his feet!
Top of the day to you, Sephen! Glad to have you here with us even though you apparently keep company with some pretty rough characters. I’m losing track of the countries represented so far. Ireland, of course, plus Italy, France, Canada, Australia, and the U.S. Am I missing anyone?
By the way, you write splendidly for the above 10 crowd too.
By the way,
David
Love ’em!
Oh goody! Your WalMart was very funny!
Stephen, you forgot your T! Love your entries. I’d write some more, but I feel like I’ve already been happy-slapped by clown feet. What an image!
My T? What T?
Beats me, Sephen. You know she makes things up.
phew, I just found my T
hanks Renee!
Don’ menion i
Will you two cu i ou?
These are so much fun to read! I’m posting this from my Ojibway I hope it turns out.
Cardiologists are complex Chaps
never ones for dice or craps.
They count the cards and count the cost
but play until their money’s lost.
Hint-cardiologist= card player
Ojibway= phone
The spell checker did that.
Hi Ken! You had me going until the last word. Well done!
David
I LOVE all of these! Thank you David and Patrick for this fun challenge- though I can’t get any work done! Here’s a poem reflecting that:
Illustrator, procrastinator
Has a deadline but says, “later.”
Suckered into rhyming fun,
She can’t get her painting done.
Iza, none of us are getting anything done – you’re not alone!
Oh, like it’s my fault. I blame Pat all the way.
Ha ha! No blame- all in good fun! Here’s another:
A butcher, I have come to realize
Really is a master of disguise.
He’s on the cutting edge, I have to say,
To magically transform a cow into filet.
Now back to the drawing board 🙂
You’re too good at this, Iza. Bet you can’t stay away more than two hours.
OK, David, can’t resist:
The poet tries so awfully hard
to capture life in mystic glory,
but underneath suspects that most
would rather read a plain old story.
Ow, the truth hurts! Good one, Joyce!
Welcome, Joyce! Thanks for coming over to play. All poets are going to understand this one!
David
ha! tell like it is why don’t you 🙂
Home Health Visitor
I bring him his lunch, and he puts in his teeth.
I tidy his papers, and find underneath
A black and white photo of him in his prime,
Movie star handsome, with no fear of time.
I see him as fragile, on oxygen now,
But glimpsing his past brings a moment of “Wow…”
Deborah, thank you for this one. Many of us know the feeling of seeing old ones, dear ones, turning from what they once were into what must be. We must never forget.
David
That’s really beautiful Deborah. Perfect.
Thanks, David and Stephen, for your comments. This happened last month, and the contrast was so startling…it’s taught me to look beyond the obvious present to the way they still see themselves in their past.
another one for the kids 🙂
The pilot swoops and then he dives
Below his wife cries “you will die!
We’re caterpillars, can’t you see
You’re flying on a bumble bee!”
Wow! You look just like another Irish guy who was here earlier. He was funny, too, but I think you’re better.
yeah that last guy was rubbish! Although I just spotted my quotation marks are in the wrong place – supposed to be his wife talking for last two and a half lines. Drat!
Stephen, I moved the marks for you. I would never have done that for Sephen!
ah thanks David – looking forward to your caption fun tomorrow 🙂
Hi everyone,
In case you missed the announcement at the top of the page, here’s part of it again. Tomorrow will be another of your favorite treats. The wonderful artist, Rob Shepperson, will be back with another humorous drawing so we can play a new round of CAPTION THAT CARTOON! You don’t want to miss it.
David, you’re assuming we’ll be able to pull ourselves away from this. Your January Word of the Month should’ve been ‘Careerhymes!’
Darn that Pat anyway! We ought to beat him up.
Not to be too pugilistic, but you just inspired me to write another one! Dang, someone make it stop!!
A bully’s job is never done
He always wants to fight someone
Yet never learns til it’s too late
A meaner bully lies in wait.
Hey Matt, way to go, bully-wise.
David
That’s great!
The inveterate blogger
with his invertebrate talk, these temptations to stalk –
knows all of us want to lurk.
This bandwidth-space hogger
with his world-famous post-ers, these raise-your-glass toasters –
keeps us all from our work.
(And what is that, David… a smirk?!)
Hee hee : )
Me? Smirk? My dear Robyn, surely you jest! True, I might have an inkling of your point, but you’re probably thinking of someone else anyway.
David
Matt–that bully verse deserves a book of its own!
Jane
Thank you, Jane!
WOW! What an abundant crop of verse! Such fun. I love them all. Thank you.
Here’s my first:
Gardeners truly dig the earth
A pack of seeds is all they need.
They sow and plant, water and weed
Then in good time, harvest and eat!
Dear Cory,
I’m glad to see you jump in here. I especially like that first line. Thanks!
David
The farmer works and works his fields
in hopes that he’ll get better yields.
But weather is what holds the key
for his loss or prosperity.
The apple grower plants and prunes
and sprays his apple trees.
But he would have no fruit without
the pollinating bees.
Hi Cindy, and thanks for adding two more to our growing collection. And what better way than with growers?
David
These are lovely. Beautifully written.
.. just noticing now, possible typo “for his loss OF prosperity” ? David can you fix that?
Did someone say “bees”?
Beekeeper: One who thrives
on buzzy-bee hives.
Not a bee in his bonnet.
But several bees on it.
Thank you, Penny. Another honey.
David
Penny, I love all your verses!
Thanks, Iza! It’s a fun challenge! Yours are great…I especially related to the procrastinator one and the work I haven’t gotten done 🙂
The Baker’s a religious man
His wonders never cease.
He takes his rising very slow
and bows to the far Yeast.
(I think I need an intervention.)
Ha ha! Well, if there’s a 12-Step Program for this, I’d rather you not go just yet – I’m enjoying your offerings too much.
Hilarious! I like this one best of all, especially the last line!
Ah, Jane, you and your puckish sense of humor. Thanks!
David
Love this one!
Ha ha, Jane!- both on the verse and your comment.
You’ve got to love the plumber
when your pipes are all a’hummer
or you’ve flushed a dumb or dumber
loo is out of order—bummer!
Trainer counts
my sit-ups, crunches
while I work off
Christmas lunches.
Much cleverness here. I’ve been back to read several times since finding these back on Monday. They sure are addictive and fun!
Greetings, Violet, and welcome! I’m glad you found us and happy to read your contributions to the fun. Many thanks. I haven’t added the occupations represented so far, but we’re gathering quite a collection.
David
The mathematician
works as he plays,
computing on place mats
in sidewalk cafes.
What a clear little picture, Linda. Good!
David
The plumber keeps
everything flowing
whether it’s coming
or whether it’s going
Perfect!
Thanks, Linda. The plumber has now tied for first place among the most popular occupations for subject matter. Another one of those little universal truths.
David
The dancer twirls upon her toes,
where music leads is where she goes.
The tempo changes- faster beat.
She’s now tap dancing with sore feet.
These are fun!
Hi Cindy,
Thanks for the dancer and reminding us of how hard their work.
David
These are such fun, I had to try:
Dog Walker
By Linda Boyden
A dog walker never stops
as she navigates the blocks.
Terriers on tiny feet
tiptoe over city streets.
St. Bernards on different days,
tug the leashes, lead the way.
Though when each weary day is past,
home she goes and hugs her cats.
Ha! Irony of ironies. Way to go, Linda.
David
A politician’s job is this
To grab a baby then to kiss
And watch it cry then hand it back
Then read next day he got the sack!
There’s a new lip gloss our for politicians, Stephen, called little chap stick.
David
The tennis player struts about
He fumes each time his ball’s called out
He chucks his racket, then he falls
It bounced and hit him, “Please, new balls!”
naughty and fun!
The tennis player is naughtily wonderful, Stephen. You win the Bad Boy prize! I give it carefully, using rubber gloves.
Jane
Yep, he stepped right on the line so it could go either way. Lots of fun but close call.
Ha! Thank you so much Jane 😉 I couldn’t resist! Been a long time since I got called a bad boy. I feel so dangerous!!
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Snowman’s happy when it freezes,
Loves the frosty winter breezes,
But too much sunshine spells the end,
Snowman’s no fair weather friend.
Snowplow driver clears a path
For cars to move, but he’s no wizard;
All that snow gets pushed aside
And he’ll be back again, next blizzard.
Sorry for the reply – but had to tweak it!
Snowplow driver makes the white stuff
Disappear! But he’s no wizard…
All that snow gets pushed aside
So he can plow again, next blizzard.
Hi, Matt,
I like the job security careerhyme. Thanks!
David
Bread baker
Mess maker
Flour and yeast
Mix it and knead it
And bake up a feast
Greetings, Karen,
My first job as an emerging teenager was in a bakery cleaning up after the bakers’ night of concocting yummy pastries. Worst job I ever had! Thanks for the memories.
David
A student crams before each test,
hoping to make the grade.
Up all night, no time to rest,
“Unless it snows,” she prayed.
Too true!
Oh yes, the prayer shared by every student no matter the age!
These are SO fun! Here’s mine:
TRAFFIC COP
Drivers think the traffic cop
is totally about the, “STOP!”
Standing hours in twelve below
what I need to do is GO!
Well now we know why some of those cops are so animated out there! Thanks, Mary, for clearing up an old mystery!
My proctologist
is very cross with me
for singing Tosca
during my colonoscopy.
Hi Calef,
Glad you came by to join the fun. These things are addictive. We’re blaming all this on Pat. This post has drawn more comments than any previous challenge. I’ll have to let him know.
All best,
David
Thanks David!
You’re right, these challenges are addictive – I think i went overboard… Cheers!
–Calef
Furriers are thugs.
Worse than muggers
or couriers of drugs.
My doctor – I love him dearly,
but he’s clearly an underachiever.
He gave me Bengay
for my dengue fever.
The gift from my psychiatrist
was shrink wrapped,
which is,
I think,
apt.
The country-western gondolier
is full of song and fond of beer.
His heart’s enlarged.
His liver’s failin’.
Say a prayer for “Venice Waylon”
Do sleepwalking lumberjacks
hunger for slumbersnacks?
Thanks again, Calef. I’ve been out of pocket for a while so these are great fun to return to!
Actors: Prostituting emotions for cash
If you’re not good, you’ll disappear in a flash
This need for the spotlight, this need to be wild
Because you were not hugged enough as a child.
EATING CONTEST PARTICIPANTS
Professional Eaters: Don’t care if I’m messy, don’t care if I’m neat
Stay out of my way, it’s time to eat, eat, eat!
Hi, Charles, and thanks for adding to the careerhyme fun. I have a feeling that this post is going to live forever!
You know what’s funny, Charles? The fact that the first one could be for actors or strippers. I guess it’s a fine line!
Yes it is Matt. Yes it is.
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