Hi everyone,
The Victim
David L. Harrison
Shirt sweat-welded to his chest,
he sits in tall grass,
water bottle tipped,
judging what’s left to mow.
Behind his back,
something stirs,
pauses,
snakes silently forward.
He caps his water,
tenses to rise,
decides to rest
another minute.
Insects cease droning.
Bird twitter falls silent.
Rising up from the grass,
green blade-scales
stuck to sweaty belly,
it lunges.
“Got you, Daddy!”
Children's Author David L. Harrison's Blog 
Absolutely charming especially with the twist at the end.
Love the staging
Jeanne
Thank you, Jeanne. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
David
I love how the story unfolds and the fun twist at the end. What a perfect poem!
Good morning, Catherine,
I appreciate your comments.Thanks for posting them.
great word-choice & images (especially “sweat-welded”) and the last stanza surprise–wonderful!
Thank you, Jane. It’s the kind of thing I would have done at that age.
David
You got me! Really great, David!
(:>
David
Charming interaction.
Thanks! It was fun to visualize it first, then write it.
David
How cleverly you set the stage, David. Suspense on EVERY line beginning with the title. I was afraid to read on lest the dreaded predator strike. What a joyful relief “Got you, Daddy!” provides.
Cory
Thank you, Cory. My one and only practical joke came when I was five and it involved a toy snake.
I knew something was going to happen when the insects stopped. You set up a lovely setting for the story, David. I can feel that prickly grass and the warm sun.
Hi Linda. That prickly grass and warm sun can’t get here too soon for me. We have snow again and more coming. Ack!
Sweet! I love the “green blade-scales / stuck to sweaty belly” – perfection! You should think about writing for a living.
I’ve always wanted to give it a try. Does it take much work?
Nah, if you’re writing for kids, you could probably slap something together in a day or two. The pay is great, too!
Heck, I think I’ll try it then!
I love the surprise ending!
Thank you. It was a fun one to write.
David
I didn’t see that ending coming! So much fun. I love it!
Glad you like it. Thanks so much for letting me know.
Snow is forecast for later today. I’m SO looking forward to the smell of freshly-mown grass, even if mine doesn’t hold the same surprises as the lawn in the poem!
Good morning, Marylee. It’s snowing here, enough that I’m afraid this afternoon’s reading of my work might get snowed out. It’s a few hours yet so I’m still hoping for the best.