Now just bear with me on this . . .

Hi everyone,

In the past few days I’ve given myself a good talking to about bragging too much, and I took wise advice from trusted friends, including suggestions about my propensity to talk about turtles and spiders and such. I think all this helped me quite a bit, more or less.

But here’s the thing about spiders. Let’s say that spiders make you shiver with disgust and you want to smash every one you see with your foot. That’s fair, except to the spider of course. I understand. BUT. Let’s say further that you also are a writer. And one day, no matter how much you despise it, you find yourself having to write something that has a spider in it. Now you’re in a fix. The only spiders you’ve ever studied were attached to the bottom of your shoe, and they weren’t really giving you their best face.

Let’s imagine that E. B. White felt the same as you about spiders. What a fix he would have been in when his pig picked out a spider to be his best friend. But he didn’t cower and utter rude remarks about his pig’s poor judgment and deplorable taste in friends. He did not change the story and insist that Wilbur choose a butterfly or a June bug or a chipmunk as his pal, confidant, and role model. NO! He soldiered on and wrote quite charmingly about a spider named Charlotte. “First,” she said to her little pig pal, explaining how to properly dispatch a fly that had just blundered into her web, “I dive at him . . . Next I wrap him up . . .and knock him out so he’ll be more comfortable.” She then proceeds to wrap the fly in silk and set it aside for her breakfast. “I am not entirely happy about my diet of flies and bugs,” Charlotte clarifies, “but it’s the way I’m made. A spider has to pick up a living somehow or other.”

You think White made up the life of a spider or read descriptions in a book, or did he really look at spiders and observe them going about their stealthy, deadly business of eating flies and, sometimes, one another? Me? I think he knows too much to have Googled it. He tells it too well to have imagined it. I think E. B. White was an observer who wrote about what he saw and came to understand the world around him.

So back to me and my blog and these spiders I keep watching. Last week we had two new ones move in about ten feet apart. One, a filmy dome spider (that’s its name I swear) showed up at the upper corner of the window that separates our dining and living rooms. It hung out for a couple of days checking out the place for a potential corner office.
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The other, a large funnel web spider, took up residence outside the kitchen window between the glass and the frame. My first clue was a small leaf that blew into an otherwise hard to see web. 20160902_203542_resized
Before long, a bee hung suspended near the leaf, and this was interesting enough to get the spider up and out of its hideaway.
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Meanwhile Miss Filmy Dome had hung her own web out for business and was as busy as a, uh, seven-legged spider. She had two gift packages already wrapped and waiting when she had time to stop for a bite.

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But then fate stepped in. Our big hairy scary funnel webber made a mistake. She set out to pay a neighborly visit and got caught up in the conversation. Next thing she knew, she was dinner.
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She hung overnight next to the small plate specials like a beef in the window. Yesterday morning the feast began as I watched. The hostess, several times smaller than her guest, was at all times polite as she picked away over much of the day. When at last she’d finished with the main course, she tossed the remains from her nest like any tidy homemaker might. Somewhere in the weeds below the denizens of the underworld must have rejoiced and yelled, “Food fight!”
20160917_123348_resizedWhen I stopped taking pictures, Miss Filmy was daintily finishing her meal and, I would think, be preparing for a nice long rest to aid her digestion.

Next time you have to write about a spider, find a web or two and settle down for a good watch. No major actors in these dramas, but dramas they are nevertheless.

P.S. I just stomped on a spider crawling across my floor. Man I hate those things!

16 comments on “Now just bear with me on this . . .

  1. David, if you had any plans to visit New Mexico, you may want to put them of for a month or two. Autumn is the time for tarantulas! They travel across the roads in search of a mate. Some liked to bask on the warm yellow bricks of the school where I taught. Every year a child brought one in for show and tell, and every year when we released them I said a silent prayer that they would come out of the jar and head away from me! They are actually sort of creepily beautiful creatures.

    • Hi Deb,
      I’ve seen tarantulas do that in Missouri too. I used to have one in a jar that I caught in my butterfly net when Dad stopped the car so I could capture it. Handsome creatures.

  2. Loved your spider observations–forced me to write this ditty.

    Lunch Thoughts

    The spider with its many legs
    Considers bugs like ham and eggs:
    a tidy lunch on which to dine,
    a drop of water good as wine.

    Do not disparage spider’s diet.
    Till you’ve had the time to try it.

    ©2016 Jane Yolen all rights reserved (or re-served if you are feeding a spider)

  3. David, I love your piece on spiders. Spiders have entertained me each summer. Boy, the jumping spider has a mind of its own, when I open the door to tell it to leave – I get the evil eye. I have a tiny spider that is teaching me patience. I wrote about it and I hope it get published. Again, I love this piece.

    • Good morning, Mary Nida. I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Thank you for coming by and for telling me. Good luck on getting published with your own spider!

  4. The poet spider with a grin
    Caught a fly and dug right in,
    Wiped her chin, caught a second and
    Said, “I’m feeling gauche and decadent,

    Penned this poem for passersby,
    “A fly is a fly is a fly is a fly.”

    ~~(c) David L. Harrison

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